Widows Quest

Living Wills

A blogging friend requires our help and I know what a fantastic community we all are at Widows Quest.

Marijke who writes the wonderful Help My Hurt blog and as part of another site called Seniors Support has “designed a survey on living wills that I have a very ambitious goal for - 1000 responses. I have a little over 100 now …. I’m trying to get responses from all sorts of groups, from seniors themselves to gen x-ers, to the so-called sandwich generation and just about anyone else.

I wonder whether some of your readers would help me achieve my goal  or pass on news of the survey or know of some people who may want to do it. Anyway, the survey is at http://tinyurl.com/livingwills if you’d like to check it out .”

I hope we can help out and provide some great feedback.

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Carnival of Positive Thinking

For the first week of the New Year here are the articles of hope..

Erin Pavlina presents Choosing Our Emotions posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “A short while ago I was tucking my daughter in to bed, and as I was heading out of her room I noticed to my horror that she had used a red ink pen to gouge her full name into her brand new white dresser. Not something you can wash away, the wood was gouged deeply.”

David B Bohl presents Your End-of-Year Personal Inventory: 6 Signs You May Need an Accountability Partner posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “Do you find that you keep promises to everyone but yourself? Do you tell yourself you will do something, but then not do it? It seems much easier to make commitments to others and keep them, than it is to honor ourselves.”

Will Edwards presents Happy New Year - FREE Little Book of Inspiration posted at White Dove Books, saying, “Here we are at the end of one year and the beginning of another. Looking toward the year ahead, we hope you will choose to make your life whatever you want it to be.”

Great Management presents How To Make 2009 Your Best Year Ever? posted at The GreatManagement Blog, saying, “How To Make 2009 Your Best Year Ever? Here’s how…”

Burak Bilgin presents How to Actualize Yourself? posted at Distiller’s Corner, saying, “Discovering your life purpose and actualizing yourself can be a joyful adventure.”

Ariel Bravy presents You Are Unconditionally Loved, But You May Experience Otherwise posted at

Kathleen Gaga presents 21 days to a life full of gratitude posted at Daily Awareness, saying, “Is gratitude something we get from what we have or is it something more? Find out where gratitude comes from and how to have more.”

Rational Anarchist presents The Rational Anarchist: The Roads Must Roll posted at The Rational Anarchist, saying, “We all need to get where we are going, but how many of us think about what it takes to get us there?”

Wally Bock presents Thinking about the New Year posted at Momentor.

alvos presents New Year Resolution Tips – Aim for the right direction and don’t go easy on you! posted at dayamn.com.

MWM presents Got Weeds in Your Head? posted at Pizza For A Dream, saying, “Importance of planting good seeds in our mind.”

Isaac Yassar presents 2 Requirements Of Definite Success posted at Isaac Yassar .com, saying, “Fulfill these two requirements, and you will definitely earn success in whatever field you’re in, I guarantee.”

Dr Martin Russell presents The Top 5 New Year Real-Solutions For 2009 posted at Dr Martin W. Russell, saying, “From my own experience in counselling people over the years I would suggest that New Year’s Resolutions don’t work.”

Xquisitlife presents Never let go of your dreams! posted at The best is yet to come!, saying, “This blog discusses how to have success when going after your dreams with passion!”

ChristianPF presents 6 reasons for giving more in 2009 posted at Money in the Bible | Christian Personal Finance Blog, saying, “6 reasons to get us thinking about giving more in the new year”

GP presents Don’t Look Back « Manely Montana posted at Manely Montana, saying, “New Years Dont look back”

Rational Anarchist presents Lousy Prophet posted at The Rational Anarchist, saying, “The future is just like the present, only more so.”

Brain Blogger presents Recognizing the Man in the Mirror posted at Brain Blogger, saying, “Three short years ago, the first partial face transplantation was performed in France and recently the first of these procedures to be conducted in the United States was successfully accomplished.”

Diane Corriette presents What Is Greatness? posted at Personal Growth. Discovering Greatness with Inspirational Guidance, saying, “We all have greatness within us but what does being great mean to you and why is it more than just being positive?”

Broderick Allen presents The Power of Now posted at Broderick Allen - Personal Growth and Enjoying Life’s Journey.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our
carnival submission form.

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A Ray of Hope

This morning I woke, the bedroom was very dark except for a ray of incredibly bright light shining through the smallest crack in the curtains. It was a wonderful way to start the day, as I felt that he was sending me a clear message from the heavens above…for all the darkness that surronds you, the smallest ray of hope is worth holding on to and enjoying.

I went down stairs and figured there were many rays of hopes for all of us widows and widowers, here are some I jotted down

• The smile that I made when I saw a young couple very much in love on the bus…
• The laughter that I heard around the table at Christmas
• My laughter that showed I was capable of enjoying others company without feeling guilty.
• The hour when I was talking to friends over Christmas when I didn’t think about the grief
• The holding of my hand by my Nana who has survived 15 years without her rock.
• The slight twinkle in my eye when a young man smiled at me the other day. OK I ran off in the opposite direction but I enjoyed the feeling in the moment….

In your darkness, remember the ray of hopes that sprinkle your life and learn to value them strongly to help guide you through the darkness.

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A New Year, A New Beginning

It is the first day of the rest of our lives! I woke up this morning and thought, what is stopping me from moving forward? In reality nothing. He loved me, he loved my spirit, he loved my enthusiasm for life, he loved me for believing that nothing was impossible.

Today I want to start moving back towards….me. I know that my energy has been drained and that somehow I have lost myself along the way, however these next few months are about me finding that confidence to be me again.

What is your New Years resolution?

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The Eve of Lost Love

If there is one night of the year that hits me hard it is New Year’s Eve, and I have never really understood why? We never used to do anything special as neither of us were party goers. I think it is the sense of starting a new year, without him….I think the grief can be explained by

E = Expectations were always high as we faced the new year together, now those expectations are about more about surviving than living

V=Vacuum. For all that you try and fill your life and fill your time…on special nights that vacuum seems stronger.

E = Everyone I see is together, together laughing and together loving…..that just brings the loneliness home even more.

Now I sound down and that is not right on New Years Eve. My life is full of many things, my life is full of hope and that is how I will face tonight. I will cry no doubt but also smile at the knowledge that no matter what this world throws at me I will get through due to the love that will never leave me.

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A Year of Pain, A Year of Hope, A Year of Friendship

2008 has been a strange year, a year when I have struggled with my mind. A year in which I have often had to fight hard against the depression and fight with my mind to know that life is so precious. It is a year when YOUR friendship helped me through my grief, YOUR friendship gave me hope, YOUR friendship gave me the strength to carry on and face my fears. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for grieving together and holding my hand as we both take small steps to peace and happiness.

Here is a quote from David Bull the former Director of Amnesty International that will hopefully give us strength for 2009

“The world is full of horror and pain, but also of compassion and commitment. If you care you can make a difference. Don’t get down, get active!”

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Carnival of Positive Thinking

Gosh, in some ways I am not sure how we did it, however I am proud that we got through the holiday season together and showed our strength if not a few tears. Here are the weekly set of articles to help us find our happiness over the next year

Felix presents End of Year Magic? posted at Fulfilled Dreams.

Anna presents Don’t Be  a Turkey! posted at The Engaging Brand

Aparna presents Complaining habit and choosing the right company posted at Beauty and Personality Grooming

Ralph Jean-Paul presents Channel 3 Focus posted at ralphs words, saying, “Can the VCR help you understand why you haven’t reached your goals?”

Burak Bilgin presents Joy: the Key to Wisdom posted at Distiller’s Corner, saying, “Reach wisdom with a smile on your face!”

Paula Kirsch presents As Good As It Gets posted at Authentic Insight, saying, “All you need is love”

Robert Logan presents Believe posted at Emphasizing the positive. Minimizing the negative..

Sean Reynolds presents Face The Fear posted at Creativity, saying, “What causes a human being to self destruct? It has got to be down to our mindset or how we look at things. Something the individual cannot cope with due to their particular view of the world. We are attempting to look at our worst fears here. The impacts of our worst fears have got to be more imagined than real as they are different for each individual. These deeply held beliefs can limit us by holding us back, cause us to behave in certain ways or cause us to crash and burn.”

Chris Edgar presents 3 Ways To Use Absurdity To Enhance Creativity posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “This article is about how letting yourself think and behave a little absurdly can give you access to inspiration you may have forgotten you possessed.”

GP presents Runnning on Quotes « Manely Montana posted at Manely Montana, saying, “Running quotes to live by”

Isaac Yassar presents Find a Good Reason posted at Isaac Yassar .com, saying, “I’m sorry that you lose someone you really loved. I love my girlfriend and I plan to marry her. I can’t Imagine if I lose her. I hope you find a good reason to continue your life and achieve true happiness.”

Vihar Sheth presents Your God’s Cool Too posted at Vihar Sheth.

Ariel Bravy presents 19 Ways To Raise Your Vibration | You Are Truly Loved posted at You Are Truly Loved, saying, “you are loved”

Coach Gray presents What is Gita Yoga? posted at Coach Gray.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using our carnival submission form.

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Happy Birthday Nana!

We are all struggling at the moment with our sense of loss and our grief, so I thought I would send you some heart warming news. Today it is my Nana’s 99th birthday. She lost her husband 16 years ago and did not feel that she wanted to live another day, in fact she didn’t want to live another day without him. She is a wonderful example of how widows and widowers can find a new life, no matter how old they are…..

Today she is definitately frail but she still enjoys being around us all and brings a lot of love to our world. I would love it if she lives past 100…we always talked about getting that telegram from the Queen and I would love to share that moment with her. She is so precious to me and her words of wisdom have provided so much comfort to me over the years. Here is a piece of advice she gave me a few years ago

“Don’t live in the past, the past has gone. Don’t live in the future as the future is not here. Live in the moment and make each moment special by making someone smile….”

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Christmas Day - Widows Presents of Belief and Birth

I know many widows and widowers struggle on this day of the year. It is naturally a day when you miss those people in your family and friends who are no longer with us. When you think about that sense of loss, although it is painful it is also a wonderful thing….it means

We have been give the greatest present of all - that feeling of having loved and been loved.

On a day that signifies belief and birth, maybe we should have our own

Belief =  Belief in the eternity of love. Love will conquer the pain, because love is stronger than pain. It lives through life and death……it just allows pain in every now and then to show us how much we have loved!

Birth = When a chapter of one part of your life ends, it is just a chapter. As one life fades, another begins and is capable of shining as brightly as before. We will not lose the experiences and love that has been with us in the first chapters as that has shaped who we are, we will only honor their memory if we find a way of sharing our love with the world.

So today I want to offer you two presents -

the belief that through widows quest you will find the strength to move from coping with the pain, to living and loving again

the knowledge that the true circle of life brings death followed by life, and through widows quest I have been given hope through the birth of many friendships….through pain, new friendships are born.

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Reflections on Grief at Christmas

Just 23 minutes to go until Christmas day

A day when familys gather and smiles fill the air

Oh, 7 hours and 23 minutes until I wake

And realise once again, YOU my soulmate, are not there

But fear not world I will put on the paint

And sense your warmth from up above

Which will get me through the day, a day of loss

Through the one thing you gave me, they could not take away….

…Your love.

Happy Christmas, love you as much today as when you went away….

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By anna -- 16 comments